I... I Want Him Buried...

As soon as Judge Larry Seidlin started his overwraught, chest-thumping, alligator-weeping ruling over the burial-place of Anna Nicole Smith back in early 2007, everyone knew he was playing it for the cameras. This was the ultimate ending to the downward-spiraling circus of Smith's life; like a kid in a world of fairground carnies, she span around face up to the sun until finally she fell down, too dizzy to notice anything, and died. Not content to let her live her life in the spotlight, others flocked around her trying to get in there, from the family of the multi-millionaire she married, to the Judge called in to preside over the custody battle that ensued for months over her body. In the real world, Judge Seidlin would have had his name in the newspaper for the duration of the trial.

 

This, however, is the USA, and he wasn't dealing with a habeas corpus writ on A.N. Onymous, this was Anna Nicole, the Marilyn Monroe of our generation, meaning she didn't actually have to create anything or do anything of any major worth to become famous. And, in the same fashion, all Judge Seidlin had to do was throw a wobbly in front of the world's press in a Florida courtroom and he was known around the world. In Andy Warhol's world, he'd be famous for 15 minutes.

 

This, however, is the USA, and there's a kind of national lottery that people who have made it onto TV can win if they play the game properly, get the right agent, and hang on for the ride. Cable TV is filled with ex-cast members of MTV's The Real World and Road Rules, a Tv show about a tanning salon is quickly making the Olly Girls famous, Chris Daughtry somehow has a recording career despite NOT winning American Idol... And now we hear Judge Larry Seidlin has been picked up by CBS for his own Judge Seidlin show. Not content with having Judge Judyand Judge Joe Brown fouling up the daytime TV slots, the powers-that-be at CBS actually fell for the ANS performance and are ready to give him an afternnon time-slot, should his pilot show do well. He has already quit the court he worked in Florida, but his show won't debut until Fall 2008. 18 months is a long time in Entertainment News here in the USA, and sitting on that Fame Lottery ticket for so long may be his downfall. Remember Reuben Studdard?

 

No. Neither do I.